The Incredible Power of Not Giving Up

Grit. Determination. Pluck. Backbone. We have so many great words that all give us the same meaning: Not giving up.

Not giving up is an amazing concept, when you think about it. When the deck feels stacked against you and you've tried and struggled and worked for something that you really want, only to seemingly not make much progress, it can be all too easy to quit. Honestly, I don't blame people who quit or give up. I've seen so many people I love work very hard toward their goals only to not succeed. Sometimes giving up seems like the path of least resistance.

Yet, more often than not, when you're really trying to accomplish something special the power is in absolutely NOT giving up. It's continuing to move forward, no matter what. It's allowing setbacks to simply be what they are -- setbacks.

We have all heard of those determined people who took early setbacks, overcame them, and then succeeded hard. Case in point: JK Rowling. She wrote "Harry Potter and the Philospher's Stone" in the mid-90s and started sending it around to publishers. One after another, she was rejected. In fact, she was rejected by every publisher who she had sent her book to.

What changed was that one publisher gave a copy of the manuscript to his daughter who went on and on for months about how much she liked the book which eventually led to him publishing it. The rest is history, as they say, and needless to say her persistence paid off.

Some of the greats that we all take for granted were unappreciated at first. Gone With The Wind was rejected nearly 40 times! Even Elvis was told to go back to his dayjob.

There's some science to back this all up. University of Pennsylvania psych professor Angela Duckworth made waves when she came out with her book and TED-talk "Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverence". Based on studies that she and her colleagues have done over several years, she determined that what most determined success in individuals was grit. This perseverence, in her studies (longitudnal studies of 11,000 cadets at West Point), was a greater determinent of success than either cognitive ability or physical ability.

Obviously, not everything is all sunshine and roses all the time. We all have those difficult moments when we want to give up and do something different. But if what we want is to make a difference, to get our creative work out there, or to disrupt the status quo we need to build up out reserves of grit. It takes effort.

I think of my husband, Roshan. When he was in high school, a speaker came in who talked about working with Doctors Without Borders. He was immediately intrigued by the idea. He spent years -- many years -- studying French (Doctors Without Borders works in many former French colonies). He studied to become a RN and later a Nurse Practitioner. He applied several times, but Doctors Without Borders is actually quite selective to work with. Eventually, he took a short humanitarian position with another organization in South Sudan. It was only some time after that when Doctors Without Borders offered him a 3 month position in Haiti, which he quit his job to do.

Of course, getting in was only part of the work. The work is difficult and hot and sometimes dangerous, but he loves it. He's now been working with the organization for 11 years and has moved up the chain of command where he's able to influence real change at high levels. I think this level of influence was what he always wanted to have, back to when he was a teen. It took a couple of decades of persistence and grit to get there.

My message to you is to not give up on your dreams. Find that grit that's deep within you and nurture it. Try to take a look at the big picture, whenever possible. We often get caught up in the minutiae of what is happening in our day-to-day lives only to forget about the benefits that come with doing something for the long run. We forget that small steps turn into great leaps with time. Things that used to seem insurmountable at one point becomes commonplace or routine with time and practice. Ask anyone who's mastered anything -- whether it be Yo Yo Ma or Serena Williams -- and they'll tell you that it's about sticking to things, practicing, experimenting and exploring that makes all the difference.

Encourage your grit. Recognize it. It is one of your best companions when it comes to your long term success.